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The face that keeps me going every day...

Look! Someone checked in with Camera CC#
Location:
Home
Matthews Crossing / Matthews / North Carolina / 28104 / United States
Date & Time: 
Mar 16 2011 - 9:54am
Exposure: 
26
Tell us your story: 
I took a picture of my son Matthew. I know that many people will probably take pictures of their kids for this project. But my story may be a bit different. I was diagnosed with Insulin Dependent Diabetes (Type 1) when I was less than two years old. I am twenty-five now. I hear stories every day of people losing limbs, going blind, and dieing from Diabetes related complications. I manage my Diabetes every day to the best of my abilities, but it is almost impossible to keep perfect blood sugar levels all the time. Insulin pump malfunctions, and other incidents, happen a lot which lead to high blood sugars that damage your body. I live in fear every day that my life will be cut short due to this disease. Even pregnancy was terrifying for me, every time I turned around somebody was talking about Diabetic mothers giving birth to deformed and handicapped, or even still born babies. My son was born October 31, 2006 without any complications or health problems. I am so thankful for that and I think about it every day. Before my son was born I had no drive, direction, or hope in life. I didn't care about anything, not even myself. I didn't even care enough to take care of my Diabetes. I spent most of my time doing drugs, drinking, going from job to job, and city to city. My pregnancy was an "accident." I say that because I believe everything happens for a reason and there are no real accidents. I stayed sober throughout my pregnancy and managed my Diabetes for my son's sake. But after my son was born I had a staggering realization, if I started back down the road I was on before Matthew was born, I would probably not live much longer. There is no love that compares to that which you have for your child. The first time I saw his face I fell in love and I knew I had to live, the right way, for him. I have gone back to school, I am sober, I take care of myself, I have goals, hopes, dreams...and it is all because of my son. Some days I wake up and I don't want to get out of bed and face the world, but then I hear "Mommy will you come watch tv with me," and I am up out of bed getting dressed and racing downstairs. Matthew is my biggest inspiration, no doubt about it. I don't know that I would be alive today if it weren't for my son. I thank God for him everyday.
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